Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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