sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Are my feet made of real feet?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
