What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
