the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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