she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
