So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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