paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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