I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize