idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
