I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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