I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
