tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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