I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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