Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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