It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
