i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
