she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize