I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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