in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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