im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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