dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
