I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
