goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
