woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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