Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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