so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i've created a new STD.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
