We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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