i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
