so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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