And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
