everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
