Buhtt sex?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
