It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
