you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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