He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
