Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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