dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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