Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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