i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
