Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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