Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
