Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
