happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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