you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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