You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
