If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
