so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
