also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Randomize
