How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
