his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
