im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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