She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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