Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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