Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
