we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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