hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We left an ass print on the piano.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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