i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
