My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
