You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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